Connective Issues

I bought the undoing.me domain name over a year ago.  Months later a systemic map ended with me putting ‘website’ behind a large sofa cushion. Several months after that I told friends I was stuck.  They created a website for me and showed me how to edit it.  I showed it to a few people.  Then nothing.  I liked it. I was pleased with the look and the content. People said good things about it.  I wanted to reach new clients and yet…

Recently, at my cousin’s wedding the following conversation happened

Them – ‘What do you do?’

Me – Pause…clearing of throat… ‘I coach’

Them – ‘Coach what?’

Me – ‘Good question…’

The interaction reminded me of my long standing difficulty  with applying the title ‘Life Coach’ to myself.  I returned to my unresolved enquiry.  ‘What do I call what I do?’ Then, ‘what actually happens in my coaching sessions?’

I thought about moments when insight comes, when a pattern is seen, when a feeling is felt, when a truth is discovered, when we put our finger on something. These moments lead to shifts, to new ways of seeing old things, to seeing new things. They lead to change, development, clarity, relief, resolve, new enquiries, energy.

Each step of this difficult website creating process has brought me a step closer to the moment I am able to describe the particular nature of what I offer and to name it. For me, there was a ‘connective issue’ at work here.  In fact, there were two.  They were issues that weren’t connected and weren’t working. They had formed a knot.

While they were unknown and unconnected they prevented a generative relationship between my work, my website and myself.  Once, the phrase ‘connective issue coaching’ emerged things began to shift.  During a conversation describing the questions, contributions and support I was receiving I said ‘It’s becoming a real joint venture’. My words were repeated back to me.  In that moment I became a ‘Joint Venturer’.

Days later I found a new template with capacity to include ‘connective issue coaching’ on the homepage. I did the transfer of content to the new template. As you might expect, it went a bit pear shaped.  More excellent support stepped in and got it back on track. While I was editing the site (I can mostly do the bare basics!), I revised the Fees page to state my original idea, rather than a middle ground trying to account of other people’s concerns.  The moment I made that change, I experienced a physical sense of relief. I had arrived in my right place. All I needed to do was add a page to describe ‘connective issue coaching’ and get my business cards printed.

Here’s the page.

I’ll give you a card when we meet.